Recharging and Rebuilding

February 5, 2012

            It’s a strange feeling to be rebuilding yourself at the age of 26, yet that is where I find myself. Ever since accident I have been dealing with a lot of medical rebuilding such as healing, but I have finally entered the part of recovery that includes rebuilding my physical strength along with finding a balance to my life.

            Last weekend I attempted some simple yoga and stretches for the first time since the accident and while it felt really good at the time to be doing it I paid for it all of last week in extremely sore muscles, I had a hard time getting out of bed Monday morning. I didn’t realize how a back injury affects not just the back but the entire body. It’s like going back 15 years in my body’s strength and flexibility, and I have to take it slow on top of it. So frustrating to a person who likes to move forward and get things done. Learning to breathe and slow down on certain aspects of my life has been a learning process since coming to Zambia, a learning process I am still working on. The nice thing is that this has given me the space and time to start deciding where I want my life to go, not just for the rest of my service in Peace Corps, but afterwards as well.

            Over the last few months I have been blessed with books, people, articles, opportunities, and animals to help me along the path of discovering a new way in which to live my life. I have had my faith in life and the path I have chosen reinvigorated and am more excited than ever to continue with the adventure I am on. Being grateful for all that I have been given, both the good and the bad, knowing that what I give out comes back to me times three, and that the most important thing in life is love.

            As I end a week her at Munda Wanga that was filled with accomplishments, hard work, new ideas, inspiring words, and frustrations; I know that I am making a difference with each day I am here, not just with the work that needs to be done, but also with inspiring people. I have to remember that 2 out of the three Peace Corps goals deal with cultural exchange; it’s only the third goal to assist in development. I realize that each time I am out in the park, writing a blog entry, and lending a helping hand I fulfilling the 1^st and 2^nd goals. There are going to be days that are hard, people who are going to be frustrating to work with, injuries that will happen (oh boy do I know about this one), and patience that will be tested. I also know I am going to grow through this process. I am going to take things at my own pace, continue working on my own personal development and goals, and give as much as I possibly can to the people around me. I have to remind myself that I am running a marathon not a sprint here; 27 months in a foreign country living in not easy conditions requires pacing. I am not going to feel bad any more when I take a day off, or spend an afternoon reading or writing, I need it for my own personal health. I am so glad that I took the majority of this weekend to mentally recharge and reboot, I needed it mentally, physically, and emotionally. So far I am proud of what I have done, the choices I have made, and the obstacles I have overcome; hopefully I can continue with this in the future.

I also want to say a very sincere thank you to all the people out there who have given me their support on this journey. I would not be here today without all of you, not kidding in the slightest. Without all the inspiring words and encouragement I would have taken the 1^st plane home after the accident. To all the people who read my blog, write letters and emails, and those that call and we get a chance to talk; I cannot thank you enough for being part of my life. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be surrounded by so many amazing and inspiring people. I only hope that I can be as helpful and inspiring as you have all been to me! Love and miss you all, Tammy